Online Psychologist dr. Johan Cloete

Helping you recover and reclaim your life

The Style in which I do online therapy

The narrative approach uses the stories we tell about of our lives as the key to the healing or growth process. In the face of serious and sometimes potentially deadly problems, the idea of hearing or telling stories may seem rather trivial. It is hard to believe that conversations can shape new realities. But they do. And they help to shape events into narratives/stories of hope.

Often when people go to see a therapist, their experiences of life are dominated by problem stories (for example: stories of ‘failure’, self-blame, a deficiency in something etc). Narrative therapists look for exceptions to these problem-dominated stories because these exceptions are entry points into alternative stories (for example: stories of survival, of resilience, resistance, coping or managing etc). Although we sometimes find ourselves reducing our experience down to a few words (e.g. ‘I’m a failure at relationships’), other stories can and do exist. Therapeutic conversations can then assist you to discover alternative ways of understanding your life and recover lost or forgotten experiences of yourself. A narrative therapist possesses technical skills that can be used to investigate a range of problems (and the stories associated with it). If utilized correctly hese kinds of counselling conversations can even be quite enjoyable!

The way we usually talk in courts, schools, the workplace and the rest of our daily lives, we tend to glue the person and the problem together. Talk such as: ‘He/she is the depressed spouse’, or ‘They are a dysfunctional family’, or ‘She/he is a problem child’ or ‘He/she is the problem in the organization, is accepted ways of speech as common to kitchens as to the boardrooms in the corporate world.

In narrative therapy we prefer to separate the person and the problem.

This approach not only frees the person victimized by the problem of guilt, but also empowers her/him to take action against the problem. Furthermore it helps the people surrounding the victim to join hands in a collaborating action against the problem.

The Problem (capital letter ‘P’, because the Problem has its own identity – remember you are not the problem) may have a tight grip on your life. However, in our conversations you will soon discover that it is not the case all time . These brief moments which the Problem does not have all the power are called ‘sparkling events’. The reason for this is that you certainly do have specific skills at your disposal to resist the Problem with. These skills are called ‘unique outcomes’!

Won’t it be terrific to discover yours?

Joining hands with me as your online therapist

In many ways being human is our biggest challenge. We have complex thought processes, feelings and ways of reacting to the world we live in. Therefore our personal experiences and ways of relating to our world are difficult to understand – even by ourselves! These complexities become even more difficult to understand when one is faced with hardship, trauma, uncertainty and change.

It is therefore very helpful to join hands with a professional counsellor – especially if his/her preferred way of working is to assist you how to help yourself. In meeting with your counsellor the two of you will agree upon the areas to work on, as well as on the outcomes you would like to achieve. It is in the process of working together (called individual counselling) that you will be able to unpack the issue at hand, gain perspective, acquire skills and find solutions.

What then can you expect from online therapy?

Well, you can expect:

One-on-one meetings (for example, once a week for between 45 and 60 minutes) with your therapist;
A safe setting where you get the undivided attention of your therapist;
Focused attention to the agreed upon goals (e.g. to gain perspective, skills, solutions or relief for the issue at hand, to help you establish or re-establish your life as a thriving, nurturing process, to empower you to move forward with freedom in your life, etc.);
An atmosphere for learning and exploring alternatives;
Minimization of re-experiencing pain and discomfort due to the progress made during sessions; and
A longer or shorter journey, depending on the yourself and the problem at hand

Online Therapy will help you …

To find new ways to cope with stress, anger, depression, anxiety and other emotional pressures;
To heal old wounds related to alcoholism, incest, and other traumas
To get “unstuck” from the effect of past experiences by breaking old patterns and developing new ways of dealing with old issues
To deal with grief, loss, loneliness
To resolve sexual difficulties
To discover creative ways to address life style challenges
To improve your self-identity and boost your self-confidence
To clarify commitments
To explore purpose, meaning and spiritual growth
To develop healthy boundaries
or to help you cope with any other challenges that results in overload in your life or create the feeling that you are alone against odds that are too high.

In the end online therapy is a process of joining resources with a professional therapist in order to get your life under control and to steer it towards a better future.