The What and How of Your Role as Parent in Your Teen’s Online Therapy Journey

teenager and mother talking in friendly conversation about online therapy

You’ve signed your teen up for online therapy. Or maybe you’re still thinking about it. Either way, you’re probably wondering: “Where do I fit into all this? Do I step back and let the therapist take over? Should I ask questions after every session? How much do I need to be involved?”

Fact is: You can make a difference!

Even though you’re not the one in the therapy session, you still play a big part in how well the process works. Not by controlling it – but by creating the kind of environment where your teen can actually grow.

You’re Still Part of the Team

Online therapy works best when there’s a solid support system in place at home. That support comes from you. Think of it like this:

Your teen brings their struggles, questions, and feelings.
The therapist helps guide them through that.
And you create the space where real-life change happens.

It doesn’t mean you need to hover or ask about every detail. It means being steady, present, and open – even if your teen doesn’t show any appreciation.

When you stay calm and consistent, you help therapy feel safe. And that safety is what allows your child actually to make progress.

Helping Your Teen Get Started

Most teenagers won’t book their own therapy session. They might be overwhelmed, nervous, or unsure where to start. BUT… you can help!

You can:

Research therapists or online therapy platforms
Reach out to a therapist on their behalf
Talk with them about what therapy is and why it helps
Set up the first session

The key is to maintain a light and supportive tone. Don’t make therapy a punishment or a lecture.

Try saying something like: “I know you are struggling with something in your life. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Talking to someone neutral could help – no pressure, just support.”

Even if they shrug or roll their eyes, they heard you. That seed matters.

Respecting Their Privacy (Even When It’s Hard)

This is where things can get tricky. Once therapy begins, your teen will likely meet one-on-one with their therapist. You might feel left out.

That’s normal.

Teens need a private space where they can speak freely without worrying about being corrected, judged, or overheard. Online therapy gives them that. And your job is to respect that space.

Instead of asking, “What did you talk about today?”, try:

“Was the session helpful?”
“Do you feel okay after talking?”
“Is there anything I can do differently?”

You might get one-word answers. Or no answers at all. That’s also okay. Just keep on showing that you’re open to listening.

When the therapist brings you into the Loop

While your teen’s therapy is primarily private, the therapist may occasionally involve you in the process. Especially if they notice something important. And always with the consent of your teen.

This might happen through:

A joint check-in session,
A quick phone call or email,
A conversation about how to support therapy goals at home.

But don’t expect to hear everything. You just shouldn’t. Therapy isn’t about reporting back to parents. It’s about helping your teen grow in a space that belongs to them.

If you’re ever concerned about something your teen says or does, you can reach out to the therapist and share your concerns with them. Asking them to keep an eye on it.
That keeps the therapist informed without taking over their role.

What You Can Do at Home That Makes a Difference

Therapy doesn’t stop when the video call ends. The real work often begins afterward – in the day-to-day moments at home.
So what helps?

Keep your reactions calm – even when you’re frustrated.
Offer space, not silence – let them retreat but stay emotionally nearby.
Be available without being pushy – ask questions, but don’t press.
Create routines – sleep, meals, and structure help regulate emotions.
Model healthy habits – manage your own stress in front of them.

Even small changes can open big doors. Sitting beside them on the couch, going for a short walk together, or simply being in the same room helps them feel a sense of connection.

Remember that most teens won’t say: “Thanks for being a steady parent today.”

But they feel it.

Looking for Signs That Therapy is Working

Therapy isn’t a straight line. And growth looks different for every teen. SO, don’t expect instant results. Some weeks will be better. Some won’t. That’s part of the process.

The problem is that this might make you wonder: “Is this working?”

Instead of looking for significant changes (or the specific ones you want), pay attention to small shifts:

Are they sleeping more regularly?
Do they bounce back quicker after a bad day?
Are they more willing to talk or hang out – even for a few minutes?
Are they showing interest in something they once enjoyed?

When Something Doesn’t Sit Right

There might be times when you disagree with how therapy is going. Perhaps your teen mentions something the therapist said that makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you’re unsure about the therapist’s approach.

Take a deep breath and don’t confront your teen about it. That will only backfire.

Instead, reach out to the therapist directly. Be honest and curious, not defensive. You could say: “I’m trying to understand the therapy approach better so I can support it at home. Would it be okay to chat briefly?” Then ask questions to clarify the issues you have.

Most therapists welcome parent communication when it’s about helping the teen succeed.

What If Things Get Worse Before They Get Better?

This happens more than you’d think.

When your teen starts therapy, old feelings may come up. Painful stuff. Things they’ve been pushing down for a long time.
That’s part of the process. Think of it like cleaning out a cluttered closet – it gets messier before it gets organized.

Don’t panic. Stay steady. Stay kind. Keep showing up. Let them know: “It’s okay to have hard weeks. I’m here, no matter what.”

Knowing When to Step In More Firmly

When your teen’s safety is at risk, you’ll need to get more involved.

Pay attention to red flags like:

Talk of self-harm or hurting others.
Drastic changes in mood, sleep, or eating.
Signs of drug use or risky behavior.
Pulling away from everything, including school or close friends.
Mentions of abuse or trauma.

In those cases, don’t wait. Contact the therapist, a doctor, or emergency support if needed. You’re not overreacting – you’re protecting.

Your teen might get upset. That’s okay. You’re doing your job.

You Just Need to Be There.

You’re not expected to be a therapist. You don’t need a psychology degree to help your teen through this.

What you can do – and what matters most – is simply showing up.

Keep the door open.
Listen without judgment.
Let them have space, but not feel alone.
Believe they can get better.
Remind them you’re on their side, even when it’s hard

Online therapy gives your teen someone to talk to. But you’re still the anchor. You’re the one they come home to – the one they test, push, and trust the most.

Even if they don’t say it.

And even if it doesn’t look like it.

You matter!